October 09, 2003

Home Movie Star

"Is it dark enough yet?!"

"No, it's not dark enough yet."

"Is it dark enough now?!"

Us kids used to get real excited when we were going to watch home movies. Dad would get out the projector and movie screen around 5 o'clock before dinner and we would run around in a tizzy because it still wasn't dark enought yet to watch movies. We tried our best to distract ourselves but why, oh why, wasn't it dark yet?! When it was finally time we would sit exhausted in the living room, delighted by the light dancing across the screen reconstructing memories of Christmas Past.

The years rolled by and technology marched on - we had our home movies transferred to videotape. The Bell & Howell projector just sat in a closet collecting dust. The movie screen has too. It just occupies space now. We don't need it anymore. We have the VCR; so much more convenient. We haven't used the projector in probably 25 years. Time to throw the screen away.

It's the sensible thing to do. Mom wants to sell the house in the forseeable future and it would just be another useless piece of junk to move into a much smaller home. But it doesn't fit in the trash can. I just need to get the hacksaw out and cut the screen off the stand and it will fit. I've put off doing it for two weeks now. I couldn't find the hacksaw - but I wasn't looking for it either. This morning Mom found the hacksaw. No excuse now. I should do it today before the trash can fills up. I really should do it. But I keep putting it off. It doesn't seem right. The stupid screen is attached to my deepest memories of family.

We tried giving it to The Salvation Army. It seems such a special object that it should go on with another family. But to them it's just an old piece of junk that nobody else wants. I know it's just a piece of junk now too, but part of me still doesn't feel right cutting it up and shoving it in the trash. Maybe I can put it off a few more days. I could say I need my brother to help hold it while I saw. Maybe I could try and sell it on ebay? Heck, it's almost 40 years old now - almost an antique! Or maybe I'll just pop the home movies into the VCR tonight and watch them until I realize it's not the projector or the screen or the VCR that's important. It's the memories that matter and they can only be viewed with the heart.

Posted by thom at October 9, 2003 01:58 PM
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