My-Friend: Maybe if I say I will NEVER get married then I will meet someone.
Me: That ALMOST worked for me.
My-Friend: Almost is better than nothing. You should try again. Tell yourself that you don't want a girlfriend and that's when you'll find one. Tell everyone you don't want to get married and suddenly you'll have a wife.
Me: Maybe I should try telling myself and everyone I don't want a job first?