July 30, 2004

Fido's Broken Heart

There is probably nothing more painful than canine infidelity. Well, for a dog. I thought the ad was funny, but was disappointed fido doesn't find a new love in the end.

While on the subject of commercials, here's one that encourages men to take up ballet.

Posted by thom at 09:45 AM | Comments (1)

July 25, 2004

A Midget-proof Stonehenge

Is your 18 inch high Stonehenge replica in danger of being trodden upon by a midget? W.T. Wallington has figured out how to solve your problem! Now your Stonehenge replica can be 18 feet tall and weigh many, many tons. He has a video available and is working on moving larger and larger stones. Unfortunately, while he seems to have rediscovered an ancient technology, he hasn't quite mastered the modern ones and his site has a lot of missing images. I haven't shelled out the $20 for the video yet, but I am really tempted to get it and go into the stonehenge building business.

(spotted on All Things Christie)

Posted by thom at 12:40 PM | Comments (1)

July 23, 2004

Poor Gori-chan

Have you ever wondered if the creative juices of "reality" TV producers might be running dry? Fear not! The fountain of creative juices (or at least precious bodily fluids) still, um, spurteth over. The good news for busy potential fathers is that entering the race only takes a few minutes.

Grossed out yet? No?! Well, then the woes of sexually molested Tokyo pet owners should do the trick. I don't know about the average Tokyo-ite but "when an adult dog grabs hold of a human leg, [and] starts moving its back in a piston motion..." I think it's time for a trip to the vet.

Posted by thom at 06:08 PM | Comments (1)

July 22, 2004

Buzz Aldrin's Ass

NASA recently released some pictures from the Apollo 11 moon mission (currently slashdotted, mirror). Several of them are beautiful. Others are proof that the astronauts weren't much better than your average tourist when composing their snapshots - as this picture of Buzz Aldrin's ass demonstrates.

Posted by thom at 11:41 AM | Comments (1)

July 09, 2004

Winnebago Pitchman

Having a bad day? Probably not as bad as this guy. Don't disturb what's left of his brain!

Posted by thom at 02:09 AM | Comments (1)

July 04, 2004

Los Angeles is under Attack!

It began around 8pm this evening. First the sound of distant explosions getting closer and closer. Then came the unexplainable lights in the sky. The inescapable conclusion: We are being invaded. My guess is by Amazon Women from Venus. I don't know how long Los Angeles can hold out. The invaders have already created a dense smoke screen that is making organizing a defensive response difficult. I fear that the city will fall by the dawn and that Angeleno males will be rounded up and sent to Venus for their reproductive services. Hmmm, come to think of it, Los Angeles might fall before the dawn.

In Other news I saw Rebels & Redcoats - How Britain Lost America on TV today. It was excelent. After watching I have a new understanding of why soldiers still study the Revolutionary War. Very appropriate viewing for the 4th of July. Hmmm, the fourth of.... Nevermind about the whole Amazon Women from Venus thing. Drats.

Posted by thom at 11:32 PM | Comments (0)

July 02, 2004

Sex & Math

I was checking my log files (yes, at midnight... my life is boring) and found I got a hit on a search for "sex and math". A quick check on Google uncovered this gem:

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

Here's another cute joke which has nothing to do with math. Actually, that's not entirely true.

Posted by thom at 12:42 AM | Comments (0)