Where exactly does one find a can of whoop-ass?
A friend asked me the other day, "When does like turn into love?"
I told her, "Love is like a delicate souffle.... which means like turns into love after about 25-30 minutes at 350 degrees. Serve Immediately."
She laughed and then told me she had memorized a poem called "Love Is Friendship Caught Fire" and then began to recite it for me.
Love is friendship caught fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough.
I told her this "catching fire" thing only re-enforced my theory yet got it disasterously wrong. If it catches fire it is going to taste awful. Also, at the wedding, people will keep throwing buckets of water on the bride and groom. Smoke detectors will keep going off, 911 will be called, the ice sculptures will melt, other members of the wedding party risk being set aflame, and chaos will ensue.